#18 Horror Remakes And Why They Never Work

With today being Friday 13th (oh watch out for that bad luck), I thought I would write about the now growing craze, to remake classic horror films. Today is also the day that Michael Bay’s remake of ‘Friday 13th’ is released (in the UK). But what I have been asking my self is why people like Michael Bay think, in there sick little heads, that it is a good idea to recreate the film but also destroy it’s spirit. To show what I am getting at I thought I would show the horror classics that are either being remade or having another sequel-

Friday 13th

Evil Dead

Evil Dead IV

The Birds

Nightmare On Elm Street

The Thing

Predator

And then the remakes that are all ready out…

The Grudge

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

Dawn Of The Dead

The Amityville Horror

The Omen

The Hills Have Eyes

The Wicker Man

28 Weeks Later

It is beyond me. Is Hollywood said there will be remaking ‘The Godfather’ or ‘Taxi Driver’ again there would be riots in the streets, so what gives them the right to do it with horror films? Bottom line is that it is all because of money. People like Michael Bay don’t care about the history of cinema (mainly with Bay because he get away with only using CG) and kills the spirit of the films. Do you think anyone could kick ugly alien ass like Kurt Russell did in ‘The Thing’. No. Why they don’t channel all that “creative” thought power into some new slasher franchise like ‘Dead Silence’ (2007). But they just think “well we can spend time thinking of new ideas but then why not just remake a classic and throw Will Smith in”.

Everyone knows that Japan is one of the biggest distributors of crazy horror films. From ‘The Grudger’ to ‘The Ring’ to ‘Dark Water’, Japan has released some of the sickest horror films ever. But once Japan has had there glory with there new hit, Hollywood has to grab and remake for it to stay alive. But it’s not just film that J-Horror has influenced but also videogames, they truly do make the most bizarre scary films.

I remember watching 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning' and thinking this was some god work but channelled in the wrong places. What I am saying is that it's not all so bad but at the moment is the UK and Japan who are leading the Horror creativity at the moment with America either making spin-offs or Americanising the foreign films because for some reason they don't think that American audiences can handle subtitles. A few years ago New Line Cinema released 'Freddy vs. Jason' which to b honest wasn't that bad, in fact it was quite interesting watching two un-killable psychopaths to battle. What let it down was the cliché teenagers and silly dialog.

In a interview with Bruce Campbell (who played Ash in the original 'Evil Dead') he talked about how he thinks the remake of 'Evil Dead' should be which i agreed with, he said "The remake? Whatever. I'd be most interested if they went back with a 16mm camera and used no actors you've ever heard of. Because that's what The Evil Dead was - five kids in a cabin in rural Tennessee in 1979." If they did that then the film would be a succses and fans would be all over it (myself aswell also being a fan of the films).

Well on a final note; if ‘The Birds’ actually gets made in 2011, you can put your ear to the ground and hear ol‘ Hitchcock turning in his grave. This is just another piece to the on going evidence to show that Hollywood and other big companies are crushing creativity for money and not a love for films. Oliver Hunt